Blizzard 2013

I find myself in the amazing position of no commitments for the weekend. School was closed today, the boys are with their Dad for the weekend, and here I sit in my pajamas. During the day I alternately read, caught up on laundry, balanced the check book, allocated savings and retirement money, paid bills, and relaxed. I dozed. I tried to watch television, then quickly realized I didn't need the continuous storm coverage. It's going to snow, then snow some more. There will be wind. I don't need someone else to tell me what I can see with my own eyes out the window.

So often I fill my time with the useless outlet of television. I'm trying to be cognizant of this, and work to correct it. I don't need to get bombarded with advertising for superfluous items to magically make my life better. Instead of advertisements advocating for satisfaction with what one has, they advocate dissatisfaction, a dearth, selling us on a "lacking" mentality.

With the new year, I am trying to take a "plenty" attitude. I have enough. What I want is not something that can be purchased, or remedied with a luxury item.

What I want is what I have: two boys, a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, warmth in our hearts. And another day to just breathe.

Reminders

I find myself in almost the same boat health wise as I was last year at this time: sick. I have been doing nothing in an effort to try and get better. And also because I just have no energy, for much of anything. 

What does seem to have energy is my brain ~ although that could be fueled by the prednisone I'm taking, which speeds up everything for me. Nevertheless, I have been actively ruminating on many things, hence the "reminders" title of this post.

I keep forgetting how much I truly take for granted the little things, like climbing up the stairs with the laundry. Or puttering around the house, or being as mobile as I want to be.

It is daunting to ask for help, and my parents have been especially helpful this latest go-round. Shuttling the boys to and from the bus stop, getting my groceries in for me.

I think maybe my title should have been "thankfulness" instead; as I was thinking I realized how fortunate and blessed I am. I have a warm, cozy home to rest in. I have family and friends that love me and help me. I have two spirited, amazing boys that make everything fun.

Honestly, a bout of pneumonia every year I could really do without ~ but I am thankful for the time to rest, the time to reflect, and the time to just be.

Warm Inside

Every year, we celebrate birthdays on a weekend day before the actual day. With hectic work weeks, and crazy schedules, it just seems easier. Today is my early birthday day.

Soon, my boys will be up to make me breakfast in bed. I look forward to hearing the commentary from the kitchen almost as much as seeing their smiling faces filled with pride to make me something.


My oldest just sent me an email wishing me a Happy Early Birthday. He said "try to be warm inside all day." I am, filled with their love, and knowing I am right where I should be. Home.

Peaceful Days

I just love Christmas vacation ~ it stretches almost as endlessly as summer vacation. I don't know who was more excited this year, me or my two boys. We have been doing the minimum so far (only on day 2), and spending more time in our pjs than dressed. Our meal times are more relaxed, not at a specific hour, and overall we are nestled into our home for the holiday.

After we got back from doing the last bit of errands today, my oldest happily informed me "We can stay in pajamas until we go visit Nana and Grandpa tomorrow!" One of our traditions is going to my in-law's house for Christmas Eve dinner and gifts.

Until then, the world is within these walls. I am enjoying searching and reading blogs online, getting ideas for projects and recycling.

I am very pleased to report I did not charge presents this year, and in fact will have no credit card bill going into January. With the financial cliff looming (and my salary being very minimal), I am thankful the debt I do have (mortgage) is not cumbersome right now. I add the proviso right now, because circumstances usually fluctuate.

This season, I am considering what we have to be thankful for: family to love us, a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and heat and light. Every day we can wake up in a land of freedom,  with the future stretching before us, full of possibilities.

December Musing

I read an interesting quote "If you don't ask for what you want you won't get it." I would change this to reflect my view "Know what you want and don't be afraid to achieve it." What I desire is peace and happiness and harmony. I have worked hard to get to where I am right now. This past year, I have readjusted many things in my life. My new normal, health wise, is much changed from last year. I am ok with that, I am learning to take it slow and elect for quality over quantity in exercise.

I have revamped my to do lists. My routine is to write a list the night before of what absolutely needs to get done for the next day. Most times, there are a couple of priorities with a few "it would be nice to get these crossed off the list." I don't stress about getting everything done; what doesn't get done gets moved to the next day's list. I am taking time to just be and play with my boys and talk with them. If I don't vacuum for a bit, meh, that will always be waiting.

I am making more time to just sit and dream. I've realized I stopped doing a lot of that.

I am making time to just enjoy, moment to moment, each crystalline facet of my day. From the time I wake up to the time I rest my head, there are glittering seconds to be treasured.

For that, I am most thankful.

Holiday Thankfulness

With chagrin I am realizing I haven't been keeping up on here. My days have been consumed with busy school schedules, working, doctors appointments (my oldest goes to an orthodontist now),getting ready for the holiday season. We have been baking, wrapping, and decorating.

I am most thankful this year for being home, for enjoying each moment. Even the everyday is a cause for rejoicing: I am content with the chores and bustle of upkeep in the house. The ritual of washing dishes, the routine of dusting and vacuuming. Honestly, there is nowhere else I'd rather be. And the boys round it all out.

This season, I am in a happy contented place within  myself.

Summer

What a magical time of year, when the days stretch endlessly before us, with nothing more to do than whatever you choose to do. That is how I remember summer from when I was a little girl; now that I have two boys in school and summers off, that feeling is back. I enjoy waking and stretching and thinking happily about all the possibilities of the day ahead. The pace is slower, the days seem longer, and I feel I could accomplish anything, like a super hero. I'm definitely channeling my inner child more these days.
Why is this feeling mostly reserved for summer? It's true, the pace is accelerated the rest of the year, but why do we feel the need to accelerate inside too? Sometimes the best things can happen if you slow down and just be, and listen. And who says we can't make miraculous things happen? One of my favorite sayings (I have many) is "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?"